08 3 / 2014
The whole “never kink shame” thing is bonkers because of the implied suggestion that the moment something becomes sexually arousing, it can no longer be criticized, because it really should be the other way around shouldn’t it?
Like, you can’t be like, “You like to dress up like a baby and stare at your cat’s butthole? You’re fucking weird dude. Wait, you say you get an erection when you do it? Oh okay. Never mind. You’re good.”
08 3 / 2014
Anonymous asked: Hey, look up "different genders around the world" and click the first link. Should be a PBS link. It's really interesting and it's what brought me to the conclusion that gender itself does not exist, that it's just the roles you fill and has nothing to do with biology or anything mental. It's just map with facts about cultures (mostly native american) where they have third or fourth genders, which are usually "fills both roles".
I can’t put exactly what I want to say into words but I will try to articulate myself the best way I can.
Ahhhh. The thing is, people, including you, use different definitions for the word ‘gender’. What people need to realize is when we say ‘gender’ me and you may not be reffering to the same thing. It’s a clunky word with varied defnitions.
- The defnition of ‘gender’ within the sociological sector: queer theory, women studies, sociology and etc is essentially ‘gender roles’. Within the sociological definition gender means sex roles.
- The definition of gender in everyday life however, to your average joe is the same thing as sex. There is no difference in definition to the average person. It means the same thing to them, as an alternative for the word ‘sex’.
- However within the trans community. The definition of ‘gender’ they originally used to them meant ‘what I’m physically not but what I feel I am/what my body is supposed to be’. The word was used as a way to explain the expirience of dysphoria/what feels like a mental and physical mis-match (what body I have, what my brain tells me my body is supposed to be). The dissonance, the mental strain that arises from what feels like severe discomfort with ones body/sex. However we, like the rest of the population also used gender and sex interchangably because it’s assumed it means the same thing. The term ‘gender identity’ was coined together in the 70’s as a way of explaining sex reassignment to the general public. -‘Gender identity disorder’ essentially meant sex dysphoria. ‘gender dysphiria’ essentially means ‘sex dysphoria’. Do you see what I mean?
There are different definitions here so I’m not sure what definition you are going by to say it doesn’t exist? I’m going to assume you mean gender roles when you said this. Gender roles do not exist biologically or mentally, they are socially contructed with no biological bases but that means they exist socially and the impact they have on people and in their lives are real. Gender roles are the foundation of sexism. To say they aren’t real, is in my opinion to erase their very real affect.
You know how people say race is a social construct? Yes but that doesn’t mean ‘not real’. Social construct is not code for doesn’t exist, to say it isn’t real would be to erase the affects they have on people. They impact pretty much all areas of our lives and socialisation. What we should be doing is trying to dismantle them.
Personally I don’t feel like I’m playing a ‘role’. My transition is 100% about allieviating dysphoria - that’s all.
The thing about third ‘genders’ in other cultures is we are looking at these things from a Western-centric perspective. We are not of their cultures, we don’t understand what ‘gender’ meant to them. All we are doing is making a clunky interpreation of what those things meant to them from our clouded perspective. This is why I’m not ok with the trans community pointing at these people as examples of ‘non binary’ genders. A lot of the reasoning for them are spiritual/cultural/ things we don’t understand beacuse we were not brought up in that context, so we don’t fully understand it..
08 3 / 2014
I just used the submission because it was a bit of a long question. Do you think that queer theory is kind of self-perpetuating, like a virus?
I say this because I’ve seen some people who identify as “gender-queer” or “gender-fluid” who I’m 99.99% sure only did it out of peer pressure and being told that they need to question/experiment with gender.
I’ve also seen some women on this site who identify that way because they feel uncomfortable with their assigned gender role or they think they can escape the sexism they face by identifying as a different gender, which I can understand. I also think that some people, especially younger women have internalized the belief that cis women somehow have privilege and that the only way not to speak over trans people and to talk about issues that affect women is to adopt a different gender identity. (Of course, I think it’s silly for someone to have privilege on the same axis they are oppressed on and that the only people who benefit from gender roles as they are would be men who rigidly follow them, Everyone else is out of luck.)
So I guess I just want to know what you think about this? Thank you.
To answer your first question about queer theory, yes I do. Queer theory is a virus. As for the ID-ing as genderqueer or genderfluid due to peer pressure (well on tumblr, yeah) those terms are so poorly defnied (there is no definition) that anyone can claim them just because they said so and that’s that. Also add all those posts about how ‘all cis people are boring’ and etc, there is definitely a push to be some kind of genderspecial on here. It’s a fad for a lot of them pretty much. It’s the emo and scene of this time period. In fact there is a post I saw about a girl who put in her ‘about me’ that she was genderqueer because she felt that nobody would care about what she had to say if she was cis - or something along those lines.
The problem is, c’is is beind defnined as ‘gender comforming (rather than person who doesn’t exprience sex dysphoria) and ‘trans’ is being defined as ‘gender non’conforming (rather than person with sex dysphoria) because of these poor definitions. 95% of the world’s population can now say they’re trans because honestly who really follows all gender roles all the time? As for the trying to escape sexism through creating a new ‘gender identity’, I’m not sure how they think that will work? Calling yourself non-woman on the internet will not affect how people treat you in real life, even if you have short hair and baggy clothes or whatever, if female is how they read your sex that it is how they will treat you because even those people at their super liberal arts college who ~don’t see gender~, still categorise people as male or female when they look at someone, we all do and we inhenrently treat people. Making up new labels won’t ever stop that. Terrible definitions, post-modernist politics (queer theory), special snowflism and teenage trend mentality are to really blame for all this becoming as big as it has. The only good thing is most of these people are still young. Most (hopefully) will grow up to look back in embarrasment about their antics on tumblr.com
08 3 / 2014
-finally does laundry-
-never puts away laundry-
-takes clean clothes out from pile until pile is gone-
08 3 / 2014
fun tip: say ‘another gender’ instead of ‘the opposite gender’ and crush the binary beneath your feet
More fun tip: abolish gender & gender stereotypes altogether instead of creating like 500 different ones